So I came online, and read this entire thread. xxx. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. Or is my situation just too unique? And you know what? as soon as she hears my moms voice or her caretaker, she would perk up and try to crawl to them, not wanting me to hold her anymore. I have a 20-month daughter. To all that have posted their thoughts in regards to what I felt was complete rejection. I dont know what to do, It really bothers me that she would rather be with my parents then her mother. My gal is nw 8 1/2 mths . I have come on to this site to read these postings a couple times over the past couple months and while I am relieved to see that I am not the only one, I want to know why this is happening? When my baby girl ws born 10 months ago, she just fell in love at first sight wt her dad. Dont let this woman take your child. Why is that so? My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. Paula, I saw in other posts you said 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times Will you please explain what you mean? The study found 17 percent of women experienced anxiety. Focus on love and fun! Some babies who take a bottle early . My Postpartum Depression Made Me Reject My Baby. If I hold him, he wriggles and cries to get away. I am also the sole breadwinner in my family. I feel so down. Anyways here is the question: The childs mother wants to see her but obviously we are afraid shell take off again. They can also act very competitive towards the parent of the same gender. This just isnt what I envisioned my relationship with my daughter to be, I want her to want me, but dont understand why she doesnt. she seems like she is more confrted by grandma then me/momand it cant be because grandma is around her more because dad is around her less then i am and she does the same thing with dad as she does with grandma.she seems conferted by them and not me.so is it possible, she thinks grandma is mom??? Your daughter loves you pretty much more than anything in the world. I found the updates especially helpful, so I thought Id return the favour and post mine too. My MIL sees him once a week. However, since she was 8+months, she has been fighting me and does not want me to hold her when she sees her caretaker. And Im 14!! The more you as her mom can help her both with attachment as a young toddler, but as a child growing more aware of her history, the emotions and questions it raises, the more you can help your daughter grow up as a happy, confident child. In fact she would scream and cry I will always take her out of her room and try to pacify her. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. If your wife can take a step back, realise this is a normal process going on and that her time will come (and probably sooner if she allows your daughter to live out her current crush on you), and stop worrying and taking it personal, life will be so much easier for all of you, and maybe especially for her. I dont know if maybe he was picking up on my dark mood, my insecurities? it does feel like rejection though i try not to take it personally. But to love a child DESPITE feeling downright unloved back is extraordinary, seriously. I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. Take a deep breath and focus and love and joy when you interact with your daughter. I am drained to the point where I This could change any day. I am in the same position yet I do not work. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. Do so at the times your baby used to nurse. Or is she a bit distant to you also then? i know i need to love her now but do feel so sad when she pushes away from me. At this, understanding and accepting a no simply is beyond her. I have a 10 month old and he laughs and gets excited to see his grandma more than he ever does for me. However, before it got better I came to a sort of terms with it more or less, though I had bouts of severe depression about it from time to time. (And no chords these evening until your baby is asleep! During these 15 minutes, focus only on your son and on showing him interest and love. since the beginnig, when i couldnt handle her or it became overwhelming, i gave her to grandma to help me calm her. I was worried then that since she dealt with so many different nurses who were women, she wouldnt have a clue who I was. It is a short time when our children really need us as badly as when they are babies and young toddlers. I have stopped taking leaves when my baby falls sick because my MIL is all that she needs and all that I end up doing is washing the diapers and cleaning the house,cooking. Anyway, he will be one in a week or so and Im happy to say that things are back to normal and this seems like a distant memory. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. Babies react in different ways when mom (or dad) suddenly starts working. It broke my heart. She doesnt come when i call out to her. So the child has gone through traumatic events including the separation from her father which shes always been so attached to. 2.) So in short, my role is to lay down the law, but in return, he wants nothing to do with me day or night! I know that very well! It is a relationship that binds every human for their whole life. My partner has always spoilt her by carrying her around on his hip what seems like constantly, so when he comes in from work she is happy and smiley and wants him to cuddle her and pick her up and she wont even look my way! This phenomenon of opting out is actually not widespread. When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . Please dont give up. According the U.S. Department of Labor, 37% of moms worked full time while 17% worked part time. I would actually bet on the second explanation, since you write that you did build a strong bond with her during her first 6 months. Daddy is a play toy and thinks he comes and goes and is fun, but deep down I know she loves me and cant live without me. I take care of her so nicely and to the best of efforts but she doesnt like me. Thanks, Mai!!! It's never easy dealing with a toddler rejecting mom. I started wearing lavender lotion every time i saw her, trying in some way to create a bond. I had to start work when he was 3/4 months and I was busy doing other thing before I guess looking back at it now it was just so I do not fall into depression. What a painful situation you are in! Is my life set for me, and I meant to be rejected by everyone. will my daughter never love me or be close to me. I want to know if there are commonalities that us moms share. Consider your overall financial picture. I have 7 month old baby girl and she is not at all attached to me. There are a few things you should have on your list during the discussion: A ground-breaking study has found that mothers can go back to work months after the birth of their child without the baby's wellbeing suffering as a result. I really hope this was at least a little bit of help. Ive spent a fortune on psychotherapy and self- help groups, and I still suffer. It must be very confusing for her. That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of us he goes to her. When he's with me. To help us both my Mom moved in and now stays home with my daughter while I work. Sep. 5, 2016. Then she totally ignores me and even if I try to play with her she ends up going to my mom. It is heart-breaking, what can I do? I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. I have to give her a bath, I have to brush her teeth, I have to feed her, I am the only to play with her and I am the one to read bed time stories. should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? A scary thought! And stop relying on your son showing his affection in any specific ways for you to feel loved and valuable. And do things together all of you. We even had a big fight over this, as he thinks, i need to re-evaluate myself on why this is happening to me. Best of luck. One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. Sometimes in 1-2 minutes. And I swear to g-d it feels like hes being a jerk on purpose sometimes. You know, she is way too young to be that rancorous. Hi me too but my baby is only 4 months old. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! But you say that you gave up on her. Mostly she just doesnt want me around whenever we see my mother and usually tells me to go away and I would have to correct her and say that is not nice to say to mommy and she still repeats it. and I'll see you tonight! After a mid year holiday I started a new term and now she seems to pretty much loathe me when I get home and quite frankly it is breaking my heart. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. Yeah, as you can see, it is common! Sometimes I just want to give up and let her be. Its a heartbreaking situation for which I cannot give an explanation When I go to pick up my baby from my in-laws, on one side I am looking forward to picking him up and see my baby but then I am always reluctant to open that door and find that he does not even have a smile for me and be faced with another big disappointment. Weekends too. sometimes I sit and think i should just give her to her father. Now I just started work, and she doesnt even bat an eyelid when I leave or when I get home, I try and play with her and she still ignores me most of the time, or gets mad and wants daddy. There are a few things I would like to say to you. I know I should be thankful that my Mom is there and takes such good care of my daughter but most days I am just resentful. By the time all my training was done may daughter was 14 months old and had been with my mother the entire time. I dont know what to do. Skype is also, of course, an option, but your babies may not respond to that with any great interest there and then. the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. why does my 17 month old ignore me?? my husband always gets out and travel, but when he gets home, my boys are so excited to see him. Hopefully Ill be able to post later and say that things are different. it is breaking my heart. Our little boy went through a 5 week phase when he was about 9 months old, where he really preferred his daddy over me. The older they get, you can record bedtime stories, or even films when you read to them or play with them. I guess I just dont want this type of behavior to flow into other areas of her life. Those five weeks where he preferred his daddy over me where the hardest things Ive had to face since becoming a mum. please give me some advice. I am thankful that my MIL is there to help us out. January 26, 2013. i try everything from holding her close to rocking her to talking to her and NOTHING WORKs.i then give her to grandma and she is quite and happy almost immediatly. she is taken care by my husbands mother . I also got jealous sometimes, and wanted my baby to love me as much as I love him. I am happy to report that he is now 12 months old and has really come to be much more bonded to me, though again he prefers my partner if hes offered a choice between the two of us. I just know it can be the case no matter what you do. Try carrying your baby's photo with you at your workplace. She preferred me up until recently. Hi Im a step father an I have a little boy who is 2 now an I been in his life since he was three months old. What she calls you means nothing. A new baby has arrived, and mom is busy being a mom! Why do I feel like she doesnt love me anymore. Within less than a year, she will be crawling all over the place and you will have to look for her when she is out discovering the world. When she was 5 months old, daddy came back.the moment she saw my husband at the door was a funny one. Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. But I feel like Im not supposed to think that. When I drop her off at daycare she doesnt look twice. And then I would try to get busy with something else and just basically not make a bigger deal than it already was for me. Anyway, I wish I could say something to ease the burden you are under, just know that a fellow mom out there is empathizing with you. I just read your comment and can really feel your sorrow and frustration and wanted to give you some encouragement. If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . she still seems to prefer my husband if hes around, but really, when she gets hurt or feels bad, its me she clings to. I nursed him up until a month ago. The last thing I want is for her to get older and call me mom when she sees me (even in public areas were if Im with her and she calls me mom everyone will look at me funny!). hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. This has been completely devastating to me. as a side note: i think post-partum depression is viewed as a shameful thing. First, talk to your mom about how you feel. In my observation some babies who dont do this have mothers who dont hold them a lot and are less responsive but not always. Not to make light of this happening to the dads out there but I think that is more common than the moms as, for the most part, we are the primary caregivers. Just show you love them and never give up on them. At around 3 to 5 years of age, children tend to become very attached to the parent of opposite gender. He sometimes SCREAMS when I try to take him, just clings to his dad and screams. They live in the moment and cannot cope with the longing, because they have no real sense of time. Being just 1 month old (you can read about the milestones of a 1 month old baby here), your daughter doesnt think anyone is her mom she is just reacting to what feels the most secure. Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. Baby swim classes, where the parent is with the child in water (if the baby likes it, of course) is a wonderful way to have fun together, for example.). fnaf security breach drawings sundrop. That way, you will keep making enough milk and will be less likely to get plugged ducts or engorged breasts. Help! Mostly because he or she is a baby who really has no idea what "work" is, but also because you're a good mom who loves her baby no matter what. The weird thing is when I pick her up she whines and clings to her dad and when I put her in the car she is fine and talking 10 mins down the road.. is this the transition between both parents? I am sure she wants the best for her daughter, i.e. Adjustment takes time. With a toddler rejecting mom afraid shell take off again you mean days so I came online, I. I found the updates especially helpful, so I can spend time with my daughter never love me anymore and... 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