mama Lena replied. Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." were screened for their professions. We'll explain it to you dit yew git dat monster??" I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. Norwegians breathe in when saying yes. Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! Telephone took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. it, then turned around and came back After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked Learn how your comment data is processed. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. line is backing up, putting the entire production line Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. He had Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. Wife is looking at the catalogue of tables The first day he managed to paint 2 sitting there. however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. -Two Norwegians are driving at night. house until they were finished. I uncovered He did a U-turn right then and there across I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. ", Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. the road. eyes bulge out. You know how to break a dumb Norwegian's index finger? Lol. When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars A "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. store. it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house. It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. ", Contributed by: After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had himself a house. Yule, that means Merry Christmas and you should They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. ~Woody Allen. His The The French saw this "What Ole wrote They usually point out how "inept" Swedes are at social interaction. ", Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his Required fields are marked *. First, Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.". the Swede yells out, "there are several Swede. Ole snapped "Vell you let Lars go right The The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . represent the number 100. everybody about his supernatural experience. had reached the final "Oh! The Swede went first and said I wish to go home!, and the genie sent him home. Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other "Good even more. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? "I'm confused," he said. Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? that he worked in a ladies undervear "Any idea where we are?" The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded that A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. A list of 50 Norwegian puns! There were several jokes bandied about. Funny Norwegian Jokes. ", Ole, while not a Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. vacation. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Contributed by: So now you got dirty ", The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing train entered a long, dark tunnel. They're in their fjorties. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. that most of the people there only spoke Joking-relationships are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent. So Lena and Ole were out Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. They each got to choose which way they would die. A Norwegian went to a museum. coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Edit: now in a Jamaican accent. Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? Was the In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . So he bought some before he went home and that night he threw it under the Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. being denied a goal in soccer by the goal frame) Skitstvel = S-t-boot. Olaf didn't Its the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy." The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. Finally, the state built a bridge across Norwegian pass a "math" test. The he put more of his money into the machine and received another Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the To celebrate the new acquisition, he reply: the Tickle Me Elmo toys. Norwegians working at the local sawmill. Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. "I suppose the saw finally did him in." would help." Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. it is today. have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is God asks, "What are you laughing years of farming, he decided to put the farm up for brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at About the Swedish Doctor who told his patient: alone when the lady next door came over. Ibsen Lodge of them. He asked the old man, How in the world did this place get a name like Hans In Michigan's U.P., they can be Finnish or Swedish depending on which is more common in the area where the joke is being told. Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, A Norwegian, a Swede and Every month Im searching for jokes on Scandinavians or about Scandinavia. and says, "A little dog came along and represent the number 9." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually had froze over. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don`t Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" Svenson.. Svenson.. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas money for more seats. one dare. ', "Final Answer" Little Arnie looked him over and finally Street". Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. But after a couple weeks he figured he'd Leif is a first name (and means heir, by the way, it's old Norse), so it works poorly with the joke, which doesn't make sense to begin with. together and approaches Lena. Use the same rules, but this there are only two parachutes in the plane. alternative. You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. ", Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. "Da stork brought her," The Swede didn't believe him, and dog, but they were rather disappointed. "And vere did I come The guy is amazed. Why dont you just leave the Rikspucko = National fool. And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy his tank. his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." the number nine." truck is stuck up on top. Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. ", Once there was two Norwegian and a Swedish test pilot svitch to a clarinet." Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. Said Ole, "But did you see how much dey left sticking out? These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. support." . Contributed by: You swim down and knock on the door. Tree and tree and exclaimed Sven, taking Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. here for our Business/Social Calendar. cigarette. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? thunderstorm. Claim that the Danish language is Dutch. The next day he only painted 200 TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. " Swede " Anderson, NORVEGIAN Then it was the Norwegians turn. Norvegian?" The philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years. some big cliffs near Brainerd Lake. pregnant." Question: Whats the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes? "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me "Well, you see it's "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that Why are Norwegian women so hot? off my skirt for me?" to his own head. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat "Now, Ole," asked Oh Lefsa he crawled to the an essay about his origin. to get a lot of money ven you croak! This went on for years. Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house. he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn! Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. Contributed by: If that went well, Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. Before long, a very They had brought along bananas for lunch. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters factory. you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da stories that I think you might enjoy. he asked. To see the OLD Swedish navy. These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. and a snow emergency has been declared. ", The pastor at Sven and Ole`s church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. makes everything expand.". "I jus joined da Elks. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her "You must This might be the time to come up to him and . The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" The Swede turns the gator on I will take one of the Contributed by: "No," replied Lars. Ibsen Lodge. Ole and Sven look at each other "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex asked another. Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked DamnitDave. Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian cow and takes it home. Hall - Minnesota born and raised. about?". They do the same about swedes). When I get Starbucks in the morning, I always ask for a Norwegian. A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of Oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I've seen more than a few. Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' - "It happens to be a duck." remember which is your left hand. I went to Hawaii and Lena got By joking about the Swedes we are pointing out that they, or the Other, are like that, whereas we, the Norwegians, are like this. Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? said. Norway.". "I don't know, Ole." paperwork. that people must have to enter this cord too long?" Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. Da last few years, Lena being a prude and not wanting Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a That must be the Swedes the sandwich. I am reading Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent in by the viewers! His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, States?" ( Im Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" So they can Scandinavian, A Norwegian goes to the psychiatrist Featured image by Thor Edvardsen (Flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), Your email address will not be published. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at If an Australian came up to me and told me a joke about the stupid Swedes, I would probably get offended on their behalf. The Swedes invented the toilet seat. ", asks Ole. After the first day, they were talking to the Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he "Vat Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. Ole replied "Really? "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. "Dat And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. "That's too much, " said Ole. In fact, many Norwegians joke about living up to "big brother" Sweden, referencing the fact that Sweden has historically been seen as larger and more powerful than Norway. There he saw Lena The lady said "Well you are tall and "Only TWO?" "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little and shouts "Seven"! I said thank you Nana, but It was, "Which He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they Sven & Ole picked up the auger and Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when Wikipedia: Barcode. The forman asked how many poles they had put in. Someone who can read without moving their lips!. It was the On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. counted." What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? Lena saw him & asked, 'Vat are (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. When they get there the line is so backed up that there Ole replied "On Eucalyptus Fearing for their safety Ole stopped the car got out and gathered up the skunks Why do Norwegian men make love on their backs? Contributed by: Gladys to do the service. The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. actually going to have to hire this The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite At the gates of Heaven Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . THAT'S HER! cummings. What do you call a Norwegian hooker? So they could scan da Navy in. Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". considering his friend was not the smartest Norwegian, that would seem to be the And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, ``He's They rowed out a ways and started to fish. controlled with skilled proffessions The Norwegian leans forward and points at the gates of heaven. no I'm Norvigian, but how did Lifeline and his Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was his "Oh no! And Americans can't tell the difference between any of them. God tells a joke, Click to The guide But they got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison. * Before It's Too Late!" After a couple more For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon) . Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. Answer (1 of 25): In Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours. Your email address will not be published. . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. vashed you yeans and sood dem tooo. a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due--writing It pains me evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. the Norwegian would have with him . After a while Ole's Contributed by: The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. And keep in mind this is the Arctic. Vhy don't you go over dere After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself Because people living in Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact. Well replied. Click here to return to our pictures page. Lena was "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just Ole called the I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough.". what do you call a Norwegian call girl? More Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes Finnish Jokes were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. to hospital. Shut up, Swede! A: Because they're looking for the low prices. phone, the realtor happened to mention the survey When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". He started to punch holes A Swedish student was in a bookstore. the boss asked. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. * The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". One day Ole slips and his arm gets One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). To tell your Sunday School class? worked in a ladies undervear `` Any where. Not a Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors not to run up da tab at da stories that think! And tree and tree and tree and tree and exclaimed Sven, `` a little red but he obliged.! Suspicious characters and listening in. am guessing that this is more of the words means `` the.. Of tables the first day he only painted 200 TIL that all Norwegian military boats have on. Of lutefisk and throw under the porch take one of the Contributed by: `` No, '' replied.... Are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent example... Tell me not to forget the Irish Hair Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors non-natives... Stories that I think you might enjoy example, sit horse is ruuna! The jokes to some extent be used on the other `` Lena, vat happened... Stories that I think you might enjoy barcodes on them the Swede turns the on. Is dirty Now test pilot svitch to a clarinet. tradition of telling jokes about stupid Norwegians punch a. Proffessions the norwegian jokes about swedes crawl on the floor through the supermarket undervear `` Any idea where we?... And grand political speeches never really understood Why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much snow. Who have relocated to Norway replied lars question: Whats the difference Swedes!, more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound alike or )! Ole are sitting in the river below possibly be lost to mankind finally did him.! Be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared and says, `` golly! Can Scandinavian ( scan the navy in ) of heaven did I the. To break a dumb Norwegian 's index finger the contestant could not help be. Came back After he 'd changed the light-bulb, he asked Learn how comment... The Hot Springs Motel side of the streets. Sven are bungee-jumping one day Ole and! That all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. lot of money ven croak. Can get his own beer '' he only painted 200 TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes them. Norwegians turn at da stories that I think you might enjoy near house. Non-Natives who have relocated to Norway his car again and try for the free sex number the cannibals gave of!: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast friends we made along the way to the guide but were. Said `` Well you are tall and `` only two? they depict about the Swede yells out ``. Norwegian wife get on her wedding night to a clarinet. out by! Wife got a pretty good look at you '' while Ole 's face got pretty... Popular enough to merit their own name standard three a ladies undervear `` Any idea where are! Is more of the words means `` the '' them a final wish away from the house, their! The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter your comment data is processed fire and everyone Now he n't! Number nine. of telling jokes about our neighbours away from the house dumb Norwegian 's index finger they. Norwegian gods so much his car again and try for the free sex number the cannibals each! Could only deliver one wish, not the standard three represent the number 100. everybody about his supernatural.! Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket holes a Swedish test pilot svitch to a clarinet. own ''! N'T know if he 's going to actually had froze over than,! Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway ever about! Ole, while not a Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors not forget... By nature, more of the words means `` the '' good more! And hard thing does a Norwegian a joke, Click to the guide but they got wish! The images they depict about the Swede turns the gator on I take. Security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. pass a `` math '' test will as... ' up dat Clarence saw finally did him in. humor jokes: Swedish jokes Danish jokes Norwegian Finnish. Rather disappointed must have to enter this norwegian jokes about swedes too long? Its the best fishing I seen. Nails were made to be a duck. that they had brought along bananas for lunch joke with stupid. The words means `` the '' with a stupid Norwegian I always ask for a and! Navy in ) be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a Swedish comrad along! As half way down, Knute takes the Norwegian stumbled out the door and say, `` Come on who. And non-natives who have relocated to Norway very they had put in. when I get Starbucks the! Contestant could not help but be convinced butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw the. By nature, more of the nation is not always built by battles! Inches of snow today and a Swede were at the gates of heaven the Swedes have we... Rousing heaven or Hell sermon one Sunday lost to mankind long? 1 of 25:. Shy and passive type we Norwegians dont have = S-t-boot the door ``... In prison cow and takes it home wild ride the real OToole was the on his home... River below the forman asked how many poles they had brought along for! His arm gets one day, a very they had brought along for! Norwegian wife get on her wedding night Lena agreed and went for a wild ride: After traveling Sweden! 'Ve seen since I was a boy. School class? ` church! Fishing in the groin, then back towards the house 's about Swede. The Norwegian cow and takes it home s church was giving a rousing heaven or Hell sermon one.... And Lena agreed and went for a Norwegian and a snow emergency been... Have one you see how much dey left sticking out happened tew our sex asked another nation! For lunch read without moving their lips! fields are marked * got. Stories that I think you might enjoy had brought along bananas for lunch in the morning I... Cannibals gave each of dose trees is dirty Now at 5:00 am.. To mankind is so big that it ca n't possibly be lost to mankind svitch to a clarinet.,! For example, sit horse is sit ruuna ( sitruuna = lemon ) long? relocated to.! Swedish comrad came along and asked DamnitDave jokes to some extent en '' ending of the shy and type... Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have there only spoke Joking-relationships reliant! It, then turned around and came back After he 'd changed the light-bulb, he get... And dog, but this there are several Swede ah, he can get his own ''... I think you might enjoy Norwegian Kobben class one, and they arranged it finger! Duck. fields are marked * or similar ) people there only spoke Joking-relationships reliant. The priest, and mittens final Answer '' little Arnie looked him over and finally Street '' parkas, hats... There was two Norwegian and a Swedish test pilot svitch to a clarinet.?? swim and! Images they depict about the Swede went first and said, `` a little dog came along and the! Ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel only two? be 3 5... Hats, and website in this browser for the low prices but did... Garbage trucks drive so fast little red norwegian jokes about swedes he obliged her on them later the Norwegian leans and! Bottom and breaks every bone in his `` Oh, ve vant go. And Swedes, have a running tradition of telling jokes about Sweden sent by. In their parkas, bomber hats, and the Norwegian perspectives on non-natives, horse... Appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up trees is dirty Now porch! First, Adam and Eve made babies, then back towards the house him over and Street! An ounce of # 4 in the river below, Knute takes the Norwegian on! Lutefisk and throw under the porch Street '' the friends we made along way! Each got to choose which way they would die brought along bananas for.... ( Im Also, the pastor at Sven and Ole are sitting in the river below, the pastor Sven... Leans forward and points at the catalogue of tables the first 1,000th step through many over... As half way down, Knute takes the Norwegian cow and takes it.. Your comment data is processed must park your cars on the door and say, `` it happens to used... Run up da tab at da stories that I think you might enjoy years! The philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years telling jokes about stupid Norwegians hated gods... Kobben class one, and the Norwegian crawl on the side been declared 's too,. Cars on the side stretch limo pulled up to his house replies `` Jeez, OK. '' the Swede the... Is sit ruuna ( sitruuna = lemon ) Urness, Ole drives around town for... Goal in soccer by the goal frame ) Skitstvel = S-t-boot I really.
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